- May 15, 2014
- Category: Family Law
It is a sad reality that divorce is a common and stressful part of the lives of many women. There are many ways, however, to make this experience a fresh beginning instead of the end. Here are some things to help you do this if you are in the middle of a divorce:
Take Stock of Your Financial Worth
Worth is a multifaceted word. It includes the value of your assets, which include your home, objects of worth, bank accounts and investments. If your soon-to-be-ex has always handled all the money matters, ask for a clear accounting of what you have. If you aren’t certain you are being given all the information, you may need to speak with your attorney. Financial worth also includes your ability to contribute to the household income. If you paid the bills while your spouse pursued a higher degree or cared for the children and threw dinner parties for his boss to garner promotions, this is included. Many women underestimate their value and come out of a divorce struggling financially more than they need to. An understanding of this will help you ask for your worth. After assessing worth the primary step is opening accounts in your own name and switching over all your financial assets.
Know Your Value
Divorce is hard for the self-esteem of both parties. As old hurts are brought to light, everyone is often examined for their worst qualities. Find a friend or counselor to remind you of your best parts, and why you are still worth something. If you can, don’t deny accusations that are hurtful but true. Apologize where it’s due, and let the other stuff roll off like teflon.
Try and Part Amicably
If you can, work with a mediator instead of a lawyer. Particularly if you have children, strive to leave the marriage in a way that everyone feels that they have benefited, and that you can speak later if needed. This allows you to leave the relationship feeling less icky and more heard, and allows your kids the opportunity to see how to be mature when things don’t go as planned.
Make a Long-Term Plan
Divorce is an opportunity to do some of the things you put off due to marriage. If you want to save up for a farm and sell organic goats-milk, work with a financial planner to figure out how to get there. If you’ve been putting off that masters’ degree, look into colleges and requirements. If you haven’t been holding on to a dream, spend some time creating one.
Make a Short-Term Plan
It is not uncommon to experience a bout of depression when a divorce is finalized. To keep this from becoming a daily occurrence, plan a vacation or some time with loved ones who can remind you how to laugh. Divorce marks a change in life, but it needn’t be exclusively bad. As you discover your new identity without your spouse, be open to your own worth, and the chance to pursue new opportunities. Though you would never have asked for this opportunity, it can still be a wonderful beginning to your new life.
Informational credit toDonald B. Phelps Corporation, a Vancouver family law firm.
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